We have been here in the Philippines for a week now. The last time I came home was in 1993. Now, it's a total culture shock. First, it's the climate. Temps range in the 80s but very very humid. In a matter of minutes, you feel your skin getting real sticky. I don't remember the streets being so narrow either. Tricycles are everywhere competing with the passenger jeeps and private cars. Not to mention the buses and trucks. Pedestrians cross every where with no fear for their lives. I am reminded of the game Frogger. You literally have to cross and run for your life.

I also can't help notice the clear division between the extreme rich and the poor.

I've had the chance to meet up with my best friend in College and my other best friend in high school. Both have really made something of their lives. One is studying for her Masters in Applied Math and the other, a well known pediatrician here in our province. I am so proud of them.

Tuesday, we will have dinner with friends in Elementary school. Being in a small town, they have kept in touch with each other and have remained friends.

I have done some knitting but not a lot. Understandable.

I will post pictures when I can.

Circles Cloth

Mint Green baby boy Cardi This is a pattern from Mary Rich Goodwin of One Piece knitting.




These two baby sweaters are the Concentric Circles Cardigan, a free pattern on Ravelry. The pink one is larger than the pattern calls for. I made adjustments myself. This one goes to my niece Ava in Virginia Beach.

This last one is the Bubble Frock, also from Ravelry, perfect for Ava's summer wear.

I haven't knitted for babies in years and this is a good change.

My mom's marker came in, after 3 months of waiting. Somehow, this picture makes me sad. My dad, myself and the kids went there, rags in hand and went to clean. Freshly put in, it had mud and stain all over. The good thing about it is we now can put flowers ( as seen on the center of the marble marker). It comes with its own flower vase.

You see, we had this cat and mouse game with the caretakers of the cemetery. They don't allow potted plants, glass vases or any other kind of vases, balloons, or any other kinds of decorations. Every Wednesday, they throw out all the dead flowers as well as stuff on top of the graves. They also mow the grass. Or they mow the grass on Thursday. So, my sister and I make sure that we remove all our vases by Tuesday night or all will be gone by the following morning.

One time, we forgot. And they took it all away, including the nice pinwheels and flags. They can't stop me, though. Joann's has a lot of nice affordable decors. And I say, they can't stop me, he, he.

Sutter's Fort
On one of our field trips to Sutter's Fort, this is what we saw-- spinning wheels, huge ones.


Sunbonnet Sam
One of Rachel's Knit Alongs. I believe they call this one Sunbonnet Sam. I am knitting Sunbonnet Sue and will post it soon.


Wooly Wormhead Knit ALong
Another cute beret from Wooly Wormhead as part of her Knit Along last year.

Rose
May's knit along for Mother's Day as part of the Monthly dishcloth KAL group.

Happy Mother's day to all the moms out there. I hope you get the pampering you need/want. You, I mean, we, all deserve it--lol!

Me, I just want a nice quiet time with my hubby and kids and my dad. We will go to the cemetery, bring some flowers, maybe a balloon or two, and release them heavenwards. Ahh, we still miss my mom. It has become a routine, every Sunday, after church to go visit my mom at the cemetery. If only the caretakers will stop throwing away the flowers and decorations we bring each week. That's another story.

My hubby and I have been experiencing a lot of frustration with his side of the family. His sisters have been fighting over their mom's jewelries and pictures and memorabilia she left behind. There's just a lot of stress and strife and back stabbing. We want no part of it but they're persistently trying to get my hubby involved. I wish they would leave us alone.

I think Sacramento is bypassing spring and going straight to summer. It's nice and warm here. I find myself hanging out more at the cemetery. It's funny because back home in the Philippines, people are scared of the cemetery. We're told stories of what goes on there at night, ghosts, and lots of scary stuff. Here in the US, cemeteries are so peaceful and quiet and hardly a soul around (pun intended).


This is the March dishcloth KAL from Kris Knits. It's so cute. I used Knitpicks organic cotton yarn.



This one is the Sunny Summer spa cloth from the latest issue of Creative Knitting magazine (May 2010). The holes scare me, I don't know why.





The rose bush above was planted by my mom a long time ago in our front yard. It blooms several times a year, non-stop. The white lilies (bottonm picture) is another story. You see, my mom had a green thumb. Everything she planted grew. These lilies were planted back in the late 90s, in our back yard, near this huge lemon tree. It came back year after year, no fail, but refused to flower.

Around Winter 2009, when my mom was sick, I dug them all out and transplanted them into the front yard. Some I put into pots but the rest, in the ground. My mom passed away this February and come April, the lilies started blooming. It had been a week and the blooms are still fresh as ever.

I've cut some of the roses and lilies and brought them to mom's grave. I know she would enjoy her flowers.

Come to think of it, two of the legacies she has passed down to me are the love of gardening and sewing. I might not be as good of a seamstress as she was but I can try and enjoy doing it.

A Reversible Cowl I knitted and designed. The yarn I used is my own handspun handpainted yarn from Merino Roving. I will write the pattern down and make this available for free. I just have to find my notes, arghh...




This is the Unscrunchable Scarf, a very easy pattern from the Miss Wooly Knits website. The yarn is one of Debra Norville's microfiber yarn sold at Joann's. Very soft and self striping too.




This one is the crocheted Tulip dishcloth found at the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain Blog. I love it!





The final 2 cloths are from Kris Knits blogsite. The upper snowman was the February cloth KAL and the bottom 2010 cloth was the January KAL. She has truly beautiful and easy to knit patterns, most are free and the for sale ones are very affordable, specially the cloth sets.

Thank you, Candace, for your comforting words. You don't know this but I look forward to your comments because you've gone through what I'm experiencing right now.

Easter service at our church was so timely. Not only that but Dr. Charles Stanley's preaching on TV answered so many of my and my husband's questions about heaven. I think God knows we have so many questions and doubts and somehow, used these godly Pastors to help us.

Back in 1998, I had a miscarriage and lost my baby during my first trimester. What comforted me then was knitting baby hats which I later donated to Newborns in Need. That was when I started knitting for the ones in need. Now, I find myself knitting these tiny baby hats again--lol! I plan on making a lot and maybe donate to a local hospital. I can make good use of my stash.

And, for my future projects, I plan on doing 3 things:

1. finish the memory quilt, in memory of my uncle who passed away last year.
2. design and make a quilt, in memory of my mom, and give it to my dad.
3. design something knitted, in memory of my mom, write the pattern, and donate all the proceeds for its sale to the American Cancer Society.

Sometimes, I don't want to write what I'm feeling, sharing it with people, on this blog. But what the heck, this is my blog. These past few days have been really hard. I mistakenly thought it was getting better, the sadness going away but it comes back.

My dad went back to the Philippines for a month to take care of stuff there. I am missing him too. I miss my mom as well. That is more fierce, more gut wrenching. There were nights when I couldn't breathe from the sadness. Although my Christian belief in a reunion someday in heaven is really strong, knowing that I won't see my mom ever again while I live is harder to take. I wonder how other people deal with their grief?

So, I play the Wii. Then, my back starts to hurt. We go play bowling and my back gets worse. Oh well. Even knitting can't hold my attention.

Knitting is therapeutic and it's helping. I've started knitting one of my lace shawls again, part of a Knit Along. It seems like ages ago when I started it. I don't know why but knitting lace is therapy--lol!


SPITZBERGEN is the name, designed by Monika Eckert and her website is HERE.

I've actually knitted more than this but I left my camera at home, so, no new pics.
The Kris Knits washcloth is finished. Finally!

How many days has it been? I've been dreaming about my mom these past 2 nights. My daughter asked me if that's how my mom "speaks" to us. She dreamt about her too.

I'm knitting this one cloth KAL sponsored by Kris Knits and for the life of me, I can't finish it. I'm a pretty fast knitter and one small cloth shouldn't faze me but this one's kicking my butt. I love Kris Knits' designs. Here is her website. She's doing a monthly knit along and they're all free.

We practically moved in to my dad's house. The kids love it. I am thankful that I have a very understanding husband.

Today, the grandkids took my dad to see Avatar in 3D. And he enjoyed himself. He hasn't seen a movie (in a theater) in such a long time. He was so amazed at the 3D thing. And they all shared a huge tub of popcorn. Hubby and I went grocery shopping.

It seems that life is gradually going back to normal. There are still moments when I burst into random tears. The kids and I have been hanging out in my mom and dad's bedroom. It gives us peace, like she's just close by.

I started knitting again. A washcloth this time. Slowly but surely.

Day 3 without mom. We are simply hanging in here, taking it a day at a time. That's all we can do. First viewing is on Friday and I am so not looking forward to it. First time I will see my mom. We are all missing her really bad, specially my dad. These past few days is like being in limbo. Anything can set us off into a crying session. My kids and I and hubby too have been staying with dad, just keeping him company. There are moments when I feel calm and not so sad. There are times when I still talk to my mom like she's just here.

Haven't touched any knitting. They say do something familiar but not yet.

My mom passed away and went to be with our Lord yesterday afternoon, Sunday, Feb 21st at 2:40 pm. No more pain, no more suffering.

At around 2:20 pm, same day, my mother-in-law suffered a massive heart attack, went into a comma and died. We lost 2 moms within 20 minutes of each other.

There are good days and there are bad days. My mom is still experiencing shortness of breath even with small movements, like walking to the bathroom and back. She's now using a wheelchair. Doctors say the the cancer is back and is now in her trachea. This causes her excessive coughing which then leads her to be out of breath. They have put her on oxygen as well which seems to help a lot. I go visit them everyday and I do most of the cooking. My dad does most of the helping. Sometimes, I can't bear to see her being out of breath. Sometimes, I just want to lie down and cry. But I can't let them see me cry, specially mom and dad. Sometimes, it's hard to be strong. Sometimes, I question God. My faith wavers and the doubts arise. Then, He shows me that He's there and that it will be okay. I think I'll go and have a good cry.

KAL

I finished this Girls' Night out sock Knit ALong sponsored by Knitters Brewing company and here are some pics:

Mom is sick and I am so worried. It's hard to write about it. Trying to get my mind on something else, trying to keep my faith strong because that's all I can fall back on. Trying to knit something and maybe finish up some stuff. Just so worried.

I was going to write something about this ugly cardigan sweater but I stopped . It's a knitting pattern by a well known designer. It's asymmetrical, meaning, it's not even. The right side front is longer than the left and the button is placed in such a way that it seems like you matched the wrong buttonhole with the wrong button, or vice versa. The neckline looks like somebody tried to rip it off your body. One sleeve is longer than the other.

It is a really unconventional and rather ugly looking sweater. I will not crochet it. I will not wear it. Well, it goes to say that if I don't make it, then I don't get to wear it, he he he. Anyway, I don't really know why the designer even designed it. what the heck for?

I have this picture in my head of me wearing the darn thing and seeing people pointing at me and laughing their butts off. Some are laughing so hard that they're rolling on the ground, tears streaming down their faces.

Let me know if you want to see it and I will email you the link, privately.

Some pics of inclement weather here in Sacramento:

One minute it was raining and the next, the sun came out followed a few minutes later, by a rainbow.

I now have 2 Gretels. The light pink one is going to Mica, my niece, in Canada.




Crocheted earflap hat and a crocheted beret, both going to Yolo Wool Mill. Yarns used were from the mill.

That's it for now. I'll have more later.

Here is the back view of the Leaflet scarf from Knitspot. I'm using Regia Silk sock yarn, very soft.



Here is to right side view. It's not mindless knitting because you really have to keep track of where you're at. I'm using the graph/chart.



This was going to be a plain beret but I decided to add a little bit of lace to break the monotony. The yarn is Patons Decor, a 70%/30% acrylic wool blend. Another blend I like knitting with is Lionbrand's Wool Ease.