Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Sometimes, I don't want to write what I'm feeling, sharing it with people, on this blog. But what the heck, this is my blog. These past few days have been really hard. I mistakenly thought it was getting better, the sadness going away but it comes back.

My dad went back to the Philippines for a month to take care of stuff there. I am missing him too. I miss my mom as well. That is more fierce, more gut wrenching. There were nights when I couldn't breathe from the sadness. Although my Christian belief in a reunion someday in heaven is really strong, knowing that I won't see my mom ever again while I live is harder to take. I wonder how other people deal with their grief?

So, I play the Wii. Then, my back starts to hurt. We go play bowling and my back gets worse. Oh well. Even knitting can't hold my attention.


Candace said...

It's a process, and it does get better. It will be 2 years since I lost my mother this coming Saturday, and I have really been missing her more than usual, but most of my memories are happy ones. It will be 13 years since my father passed away on the 17th, and I still miss him too, but it gets better. I don't think we'll ever stop missing them, but I think that's good. I don't want them to be forgotten, and it will make the reunion even sweeter when it is time. I hope that you can find comfort during the hardest time, and that it gets less painful for you. I'm sure that your mother would want to be remembered and missed, but she wouldn't want you to suffer. I hope when it's my time that my loved ones will find some comfort in their memories of me.

Marla said...

It will get better. You will always miss her, it is natural, but time will slowly ease the pain. I pray to God to comfort you in this difficult time.