Day 3 without mom. We are simply hanging in here, taking it a day at a time. That's all we can do. First viewing is on Friday and I am so not looking forward to it. First time I will see my mom. We are all missing her really bad, specially my dad. These past few days is like being in limbo. Anything can set us off into a crying session. My kids and I and hubby too have been staying with dad, just keeping him company. There are moments when I feel calm and not so sad. There are times when I still talk to my mom like she's just here.

Haven't touched any knitting. They say do something familiar but not yet.

My mom passed away and went to be with our Lord yesterday afternoon, Sunday, Feb 21st at 2:40 pm. No more pain, no more suffering.

At around 2:20 pm, same day, my mother-in-law suffered a massive heart attack, went into a comma and died. We lost 2 moms within 20 minutes of each other.

There are good days and there are bad days. My mom is still experiencing shortness of breath even with small movements, like walking to the bathroom and back. She's now using a wheelchair. Doctors say the the cancer is back and is now in her trachea. This causes her excessive coughing which then leads her to be out of breath. They have put her on oxygen as well which seems to help a lot. I go visit them everyday and I do most of the cooking. My dad does most of the helping. Sometimes, I can't bear to see her being out of breath. Sometimes, I just want to lie down and cry. But I can't let them see me cry, specially mom and dad. Sometimes, it's hard to be strong. Sometimes, I question God. My faith wavers and the doubts arise. Then, He shows me that He's there and that it will be okay. I think I'll go and have a good cry.

KAL

I finished this Girls' Night out sock Knit ALong sponsored by Knitters Brewing company and here are some pics:

Mom is sick and I am so worried. It's hard to write about it. Trying to get my mind on something else, trying to keep my faith strong because that's all I can fall back on. Trying to knit something and maybe finish up some stuff. Just so worried.

I was going to write something about this ugly cardigan sweater but I stopped . It's a knitting pattern by a well known designer. It's asymmetrical, meaning, it's not even. The right side front is longer than the left and the button is placed in such a way that it seems like you matched the wrong buttonhole with the wrong button, or vice versa. The neckline looks like somebody tried to rip it off your body. One sleeve is longer than the other.

It is a really unconventional and rather ugly looking sweater. I will not crochet it. I will not wear it. Well, it goes to say that if I don't make it, then I don't get to wear it, he he he. Anyway, I don't really know why the designer even designed it. what the heck for?

I have this picture in my head of me wearing the darn thing and seeing people pointing at me and laughing their butts off. Some are laughing so hard that they're rolling on the ground, tears streaming down their faces.

Let me know if you want to see it and I will email you the link, privately.